MISSING BEAGLE IN MONTEVALLO

*** MISSING BEAGLE -- CHARLIE BROWN ***


She was last seen on Crestview Circle in the Arden subdivision (behind Montevallo firehouse) on Oct. 22.


Her name is Charlie Brown, and she got out of the backyard yesterday while her owner was at work. She is light brown and white, weighs about 22 pounds, and is wearing a collar with a tag that has her microchip number on it. She's a very sweet dog, but can be shy.


If you have any information, please call Clare Vance at 678-665-1268, or her dad, Sid Vance, at 205-965-2326 (cell) or 205-665-4053 (home). Clare's email address is clare.vance@target.com.

(gone to the dogs ... continued)

"Many people don’t appreciate or understand the role that journalism plays in a democracy, and I think many media owners ignore the public-service aspect in their lust for profit."

But Brown, 61, isn’t cashing in all his chips just yet. He plans to return to the school to teach as he did for many years in his career as a professor.

"I’d like to go cheerfully to seed and bedevil more students in my time," he said, adding that he may need some transition time to get ready before returning to classes such as reporting, editing and media law.

Brown came to the University of Montana in 1999 from Auburn University where he taught for 20 years. He received his B.A. in journalism from Auburn and a Ph. D. in English from Vanderbilt University. In the late 1970s, he edited a weekly newspaper near Roanoke, Va.

"It will be nice to still have him around for a while," Van Valkenburg says. "The faculty can’t wait to see him down in the trenches teaching three courses in a semester again."

A search committee has been formed to look for a new dean, said Van Valkenburg. The nine-member panel includes four UM journalism professors and a journalism student.

So what will Brown be up to during his hiatus?

Literary side projects, golfing, gardening, traveling and hunting and fishing with his dogs Rollie and Lefty, according to Brown’s wife Libby. The Browns made a trip to Scotland over the summer where Jerry fulfilled one of his life’s dreams, to hit the links on the Isle of Mull.

Libby, a retired high-school librarian, describes the man she’s been married to for 37 years as someone with high energy always looking for a new challenge.

"I think we will probably do some more traveling soon, and I know for a fact he’s got two English setters waiting for him in the yard at home that can’t wait to go pheasant hunting," Libby said.

"Trapped in the Closet" continued ....

Series co-creator Matt Stone understandably wondered why it took Hayes nearly a full decade to figure out that "South Park" pokes fun at, among other things, religions. "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology," Stone said in an interview with the Associated Press.

Stone noted in interviews that "in 10 years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons or Jews," and added,

"He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show." Even more mysterious, Hayes did not quit the show when Comedy Central first ran the episode, called "Trapped in the Closet," last November.

In the episode, fourth-grader Stan scores so high on a Scientology test that followers decide he is the reincarnation of its founder, sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard. Scientologists show up at Stan's house in droves. Stan finds celebrity Scientologist Tom Cruise in his bedroom; Cruise asks Stan what he thinks of Cruise's acting work. Stan pronounces him not as good as Leonardo DiCaprio, Gene Hackman or "that guy who played Napoleon Dynamite."

Cruise, crushed, hides in Stan's closet. John Travolta, another celeb Scientologist, and R&B artist R. Kelly each try to get Cruise to come out of the closet. For the rest of the episode, "Tom Cruise" and "come out of the closet" are said in the same sentence. Like 39 times. (Back in November, a rep for Hayes said her client hadn't heard about the story line and she did not think his character was in it, according to a report on the Web site of Mort Zuckerman's now defunct political, pop culture and style magazine, Radar.

The site also has Cruise's rep saying they had "no knowledge of" the episode.) So Hayes very publicly quits "South Park" on Monday, the media gloms on to this story and hangs on for dear life for a couple of days. CNN's "Showbiz Tonight" files a report noting that in a recent interview on their very own show, Hayes said he had no beef with the Scientology episode.

"I didn't see it but I was told about it. But they lampoon everybody and if you believe them, you got a problem," Hayes says in a clip. Stone and co-creator Trey Parker go on David Letterman's CBS late-night show and joke that Hayes's character hasn't been a large part of the show for about five years anyway, and when they did the show about Scientology, "we were like, boy, Isaac might quit over this, and sure enough he did." And by Wednesday, about 100 times as many people know that the

"Trapped in the Closet" episode is going to run on Comedy Central that night. Only when people tune in, the episode isn't there. Instead it's another episode, called "Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls," and an additional episode also prominently featuring Hayes's advice-dispensing school cook character. Called for comment the next day, Comedy Central, a division of Viacom, issued a statement explaining that the "Trapped in the Closet" episode was yanked because "in light of the events of earlier this week, we wanted to give Chef an appropriate tribute by airing two episodes he is most known for."

Really, they did. And not in some neoironic way. They were being serious. And all this is going on while Tom Cruise is busy promoting his upcoming "Mission: Impossible III," which hits theaters on May 5, for Paramount, another division of Viacom.

I'm just sayin'.

Cruise's publicist yesterday said, "Tom had nothing to do with this matter. He's been promoting 'Mission: Impossible III' for the last six months. We have no clue where this came from." Stone and Parker obviously have their theory about the abrupt episode switcheroo:
"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!" the two said in a statement sent to trade paper Variety.

"Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

They signed the statement, "Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu." In November, when the episode was first scheduled to run on Comedy Central, network spokesman Tony Fox was asked by Radar whether taking swipes at Cruise and Scientology was smart. Fox responded that the network has Stone and Parker's back.

"If you know 'South Park,' they are free, and have been, to satirize anybody and anything they want to. They've made fun of MTV, they've made fun of Viacom, they've made fun of Comedy Central, and we've never interfered with them." Oh, well.

The 'NOprah' phenomena part 2

(the oprah article continued)


"The Oprah Empire is everywhere. She makes sure you don't get out of the system. I think she's got more influence now than George W. Bush does."

In addition to the syndicated talk show, the cable after-show, the book club, the diet tips, the lifestyle magazines (with her image on every cover), the self-help online workbooks and Oxygen, the women's cable network she co-founded, fans can even download audio clips of Oprah reading her favorite inspirational quotes aloud at Oprah.com.XM Satellite Radio recently announced an Oprah and Friends channel for September, boosting the company's stock for a couple of days."It's the cult of Oprah," explained Thompson.

"Anyone with that much power, who can make a best seller overnight, anybody who's achieved the cultural penetration she's achieved, you're naturally going to get resentment. One is going to inevitably produce the other."

Schlaucher was surprised by the number of fellow Oprah-haters who responded when he posted an online article titled "NOprah" in 2004. He continues to hear from fellow Oprah-haters who agree that, despite her noble charity work, Oprah has an alarming effect on public opinion, particularly among women.

Schlaucher refers to her following as a "legion of Oprah clones."The Oprah-haters abounding on the Internet are mostly young, and of a generation raised not only online, but on Oprah.For the 20-somethings, Oprah's been a cultural institution and a public figure since they were small children.And she has plenty of fans in that age group. "If you don't like Oprah, there's got to be something wrong with you," said Kelly Cook, a 24-year-old from New York City who calls herself an "Oprah fanatic."Cook recently purchased Oprah's 20th Anniversary DVD set."I just cried all the way through it," she said.

"I rarely miss a show and if I do, I tape it," she wrote in an e-mail message. "I read her book club books; I read her magazine; I buy products she endorses on her `Favorite Things' show. She's like family to me.I view her as a moral and spiritual guider and as a model for the way a woman ought to be in the world."Brandon Renken, a Harvard University graduate who wrote an anti-Oprah column for CampusNut.com, takes issue with this view."No matter who you are, Oprah is NOT like you," he said.

"The fact that she can convince you that she is should make you even more afraid of her than I am."The anti-Oprah contingent feels that Oprah's preaching from the tele-pulpit is what draws in viewers, show after show.The last segment of the program, Schlaucher pointed out, tells her audience "how to get soul. It's like a church following. You don't really have to do anything, but it makes you feel better."Many disdain Oprah for what they consider vapid celebrity chitchat and gossip.

"The only difference is that her guests jump on the chairs," said Schlaucher, referring to the now-infamous Tom Cruise interview, "and on Jerry Springer they throw the chairs."Heather Weller, a stay-at-home mom from Worcester, Mass., expressed her views on an Internet message board discussing Oprah's Book Club. "Does Oprah have some sort of mind-control device we don't know about?" she asked. "But I have to say anything that gets people to read is a good thing. It would just be nice if it also got them to think."